Thread: Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XVII: "Sober Wars"
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:32 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
Cow
Woe is Moo.
 
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Hawk, you right about me and the physical active things. And sadly, last couple year, I just let more and more of them go. Tennis. Hiking. And last year even p*ssing away my dirtbike riding and wallyball. And even walking! I just let it all fall away as I sink like stone into stagnant pool of intertia, depressions, anhedonia, addiction. I saw it happening, but was like watching someone drown from the shore. I not have nearly enough strength to even try to swim out to save me.

So now, I does my 20 minute sun walk every day. I starting there. I get on trampoline when I can. Is like baby step all over again. I very out of shape. Fat. Weak. But, like person who wake up from coma, you has to start small and work back up. I feel bad, I let so much go. Some of it was health issue and menopause, but by far, most of it was surrendering to my substances.

Sleepies, you drawings has impacted me. So I glad it a mutual boost.

We has all made steps. And I not can speak for everybody, but I know is part of me clinging to my peg leg who just want to dissolve into addiction's cozy inertia and not has to fight for something different and ... ... more.

But, I must somewhere still has some fight, cuz I wanna fight.

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