2015 did suck. You are not alone.
My memory goes to crap when I drink, I meet people during my binge months, get to know them, get close and never really take in what they tell me or who they are because I'm blind drunk. It's disrespectful if anything. They say to me "You don't remember me telling you that?" after I ask them the same question for the 5th time that month. I then get offended because I feel like an idiot when in reality I know I'm not alcohol just numbs my senses cold. I'm short with people when drunk, rude, argumentative and generally an ********. Not always, sometimes people love me drunk but it's not really me is it so there is nothing positive to salvage there. God it feels like madness to even figure out why I/we get drunk. Having a drink and being controlled is one thing but being drunk just makes no sense. It temporarily numbs life for me which is why I do it, we all have our reasons but it also makes life colder, darker.
Time to change.