I felt so very familiar and comfortable with him. I thought, things would be different with him because he “is different”. Which of course he isn’t and they weren’t.
You sound like me, even though my addicted loved one is my son. I was so used to dysfunctional, I lived a dysfunctional life for so long...it became my "normal". As bad as my life became, it was the life that I knew, and I knew what to expect and how to react when it happened.
No wonder you felt familiar and comfortable, this new fellow fit right in with what your life had become.
The good news for both of us is that it doesn't have to stay that way. I was uncomfortable early in recovery, I didn't know what to expect or how to handle life in a healthy way. But I went to meetings and began working 12 steps that literally saved my life.
You have sought help and you reached out here, that's a darn good start.
I am glad you joined us and hope you find comfort and courage both here.
Hugs