Hello all,
Been lurking around and posting occasionally -- what a great community.
I spent 7 weeks in rehab and came home Dec. 9. I'm still adjusting. My husband filed for divorce in Sep and took temporary custody of our son. I was/am a basket case. He moved out, took our son, and I was served with divorce papers the same day. (I also have 18 yr old triplets who are high school seniors, but they are from my first marriage.)
I've been sober for over 3 months and am very proud of myself. I've never quit drinking before (except during pregnancies) so this life is new to me.
I've been able to see my son over the holidays as the temp custody was lifted, but the divorce is still going through. My husband is hell bent on getting custody, even though he works 6 days a week, travels, and uses his 23 yr old daughter as his babysitter. (She has a ton of issues but that's another post...)
I alternate between being really sad and really pissed. I know that's normal. I also know that you're not supposed to make any big life changes the first year of sobriety, but that's out of my control. I haven't felt tempted to drink and it's really hard to feel this pain and heartache without alcohol's numbing effect. I haven't worked in 15 years -- been a SAHM -- and I foolishly signed a prenup so I'll get nothing after the divorce. This terrifies me.
My husband was/is a very controlling, inflexible person. It's his way or the highway. I think I drank so I wouldn't have to deal with the emotions I felt during our marriage. Of course, that ultimately led to where I am today. Some days I feel so lonely and scared.
The rehab I went to was non 12 step and I really got a lot out of it. I know that no matter how bad I feel, it won't last forever. No matter how much I want a drink, that feeling will pass, too.
Well, just wanted to say hi and I'm glad to be part of this community!
