Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
Why are you guys focusing on him and what he's going to do or not do, or what he's thinking?
I know in my life I have some regrets. One thing I don't regret is when I choose not to say that hurtful thing that I am thinking. Sure, we all get angry. But if I'm wanting a relationship to work, there is no sense in saying, "You were awful, I wished you had hurt yourself." That just doesn't leave room for anything good to flourish. The things I do regret? Saying mean things, doing mean things, acting like a two-year old, blaming, shaming, or otherwise trying to hurt someone else. What he does is not hers to worry about, truly. He was hurt. What he does with that is no one's fault, but the hurt was unnecessary, and those things are the things that haunt me today; hurting someone on purpose, or even in frustration. I still know better. Sorry ladies, just my experience.
Alright love, keep your knickers on! Do we really have to take detachment so far that when someone we love gets up, says I'm leaving you, and then goes, we have to sit at home and not focus on it?
I am confused and I want to figure it out. If I reach the conclusion that he was looking for an excuse to drink then at least I can stop blaming myself for saying too much. If I reach the conclusion that I should take responsibility for my words which were hurtful and unnecessary, then I can decide to apologise when (if) he comes back. Focusing on why he's done what he's done is helping me to understand, learn and make a plan of action.
I do regret saying what I said. However it wasn't said in anger. We were lying in bed, in each other's arms, speaking from the heart.