You're not letting me down sydneyman - I do think you're making a very bad decision tho, and I'll be sorry if you continue to drink.
I used to think I was weak and worthless. Drink made me feel that way. It made me feel like I needed to drink to survive.
That's probably the worst lie ever told.
We're all stronger than we know....but the only way to prove that is to face the pain sober.
You can have the memory of a trip back to your family - one that may not be all good but you will want to keep those memories, trust me..you can be there for your mum and family...
or you can have a half remembered series of flashbacks, shame and embarrassment that will probably feed your drinking for another decade or more.
I'm not being melodramatic. I've lived this choice and as I said, I've made both choices.
The choice really is yours Sydneyman. Best wishes
D