Goiod morning all, I never really have a sober plan, just not drink, and I white knuckle often. I guess that's why I keep failing. I did last 2 months one time, just using will power.
I have social anxiety to the extremes so I don't feel AA would work for me. Even when I was seeing a therapist I drank before I went (was driven there) because I can't get a word out otherwise.
I never tell anybody I'm quitting either because I always feel ashamed of this addiction. Nobody knows alcohol is a problem for me, except my husband and most times I mention it he looks at me like I have 3 eyes (he drinks once a year).
I realize I have to make it a way of life, but it's hard not to feel sad about it, drinking did allow me to be more social, and those first few drinks always felt good. It's so brief though, and the payback just isn't worth it anymore.