Thank you to yoga, maia1234 and redatlanta for the fresh posts.
I continue to struggle with the guilt (useless pastime I know). Spent part of the day chatting with and receiving support from my sister and father - did me good to shed some light on an issue I have kept under wraps for others sakes - namely husband - he text me today and he has told a colleague that he is currently travelling with for work that he is an alcoholic - massive step forward for him I guess.
I know he will be trying to convince me to allow him home for Christmas and I really am battling with 1) clean break and take care of self v. 2) allow him to spend Christmas with me and spend time with his children who live with their mother close to where I live.
When the decision is final in my mind I will be able to forge ahead - why
Am I finding it so hard to achieve clarity - filled with sadness.
Very grateful for all your opinions.