I'm sorry Jemma and Tufty. As some have said, events like that bring home just how fragile life is.
I love sober Saturday's, Sobermarathon. It's amazing how free I now feel without that constant battle in my head of, when can I drink? Can I sneak off? Also the huge irritability I had at everyone and anything that interrupted my drinking.
I was chatting to my sponsor about it. The fact that insanity has now left me and now if someone offered me a drink I would most likely be physically repulsed by it. She called it the psychic change.
I have to stop any thoughts that go, well, you're going to screw it up sometime K, you may as well choose when. I challenge them every time. I do not want to self sabotage something that is changing me both physically and mentally for the better.
I'm coming up for the longest I've ever been without alcohol. This time genuinely feels different. Before, I always had the notion that I would drink again, that it wasn't forever. Now I accept that I cannot drink drink today. I'm an alcoholic. I can choose anytime to drink, but today I won't.
It's a revelation.
Day 39. Keep going all.