sourbaby, for a long time now you've been seeking the INSTANT fix....got a feeling? take a pill to make it go away.
sobriety and recovery are not going to be the instant balm you seek - it's going to take TIME and WORK. and it's going to feel uncomfortable, a lot. because it's different and you are no longer USING your way thru life. but IF you stick with it, stay clean, go to meetings, stick with the winners and give TIME TIME, you will experience the joys of being sober. it probably won't be tomorrow tho, sorry.
i am not a craftsy person by any means, but have you ever watched how a quilt is made? one little square at a time. lots of little pieces of fabric sewn together, then the little pieces sewn together to make a bigger piece. the average full size quilt is composed of 624 of them little squares. think of the patience and dedication that takes. with LOTS of repetition, and it takes TIME before the full beautiful pattern is seen. on day one it doesn't resemble much of anything, just heaps of scraps of fabric. RECOVERY is like that......you are on your way to creating a beautiful unique collage.