Notices

"But what if I'm just self medicating?"

Old 12-12-2015, 11:22 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
sourbaby1986's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 76
"But what if I'm just self medicating?"

Another excuse. I wouldn't need to drink or take pills if I didn't feel so depressed or anxious.

Maybe my problem is depression and/or anxiety and my mild to moderate abuse of substances is just a result of that.

I've tried help for depression and anxiety (that's what I take the pills for, currently....they don't even work unless I increase the dose) and I've tried therapy and it's just so slow. I spend lots of money and make no progress. I just want a way to be at peace with my life and the 12 steps promise that. I'm not really interested in other methods of recovery cause I don't just want to get clean and sober - I want a life worth living. I'm not even taking that much medicine but my problem is that I don't feel okay without it. It's not even working and I can't get more, so I feel dry, I guess.

Just reaching out. Didn't make it to a meeting this morning cause I woke in the night with so much anxiety and couldn't get back to sleep.
sourbaby1986 is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 11:48 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: South West England
Posts: 17
Hi sourbaby,

Just want to say I understand your feelings. I'm new to this site and to recovery as well, and I also have a mix of thoughts going through my head. I've always suffered with anxiety, restlessness, a feeling of being different and separate from the rest of world - since I was a kid and before I started drinking. I have no doubt these issues are what made alcohol so magical to me. When I was in my late teens I struggled with cocaine use for a few years but I stopped that completely at 21 (I'm 27 now). But my alcohol use seriously set in after that. I also smoke cigarettes and am addicted to caffeine.

I don't have the answers but I wanted to show some solidarity. I'm struggling too. I guess we all have our reasons which gave way to substance abuse. On a post of mine, someone advised dealing with one thing at a time, because I posted about being so overwhelmed with my multitude of issues. I hope when I get some sober time behind me, my anxiety and depression issues will ease enough, to be dealt with separately at some stage. Perhaps this advice will be of some use to you too? Taking it one day at a time, focusing on not using at the moment, with the anticipation that the rest will at some point fall into place.

Feel free to message me if you like. We're at the same beginning stage with similar concerns.

Amber
amber1988 is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 11:51 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
JD
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I also suffer from depression. I don't expect getting sober to cure that. But I know from over 30 years of self medicating that that doesn't work. The only hope I have to work on the depression is by getting sober and staying that way. I'm still on that journey and don't have an answer for you. But I've wasted too much of my life self medicating and I do have hope now that I can at the very least relieve the depression. I'm already seeing some of that. With drinking I have no hope. I'm just pushing the feelings aside. With sobriety I have hope.
JD is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 11:59 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Can you get to a meeting tonight SB x
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 12:02 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
That's what alcohol and drug abuse IS.

Maybe check in and read the responses on your other threads Sourbaby.

Have you checked the meeting times and locations tomorrow? If you want to go to some meetings, then the only way to do that is get your coat and bag and get yourself TO one. This thing is going to take some action on your part. Noone can't go for you.

If it'll make you feel better and more committed to getting there, contact the helpline and they'll get a local AA member to call for a chat. They might even meet you outside the meeting so you don't have to walk in alone. People are there and they're holding out life bouys, but you have to grab one of them with both hands and hold on tight if you want to save yourself from that sea of despair you're drowning in.
Berrybean is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 12:03 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Something that became clear to me after some time away from using was that the alcohol (in my case) that I was using to treat my anxiety and depression were actually causing the anxiety and depression.

It didn't happen right away, but by working on my coping skills, life skills, and inner thoughts, I was able to get past the anxiety and depression. There was no hope in Hell that I would have gotten better while drinking. It had to be done sober. Putting a neuro-toxin in my body caused my problems. Yes, I had some anxiety and depression before the alcohol - but the things bothering me could have been dealt with years ago instead of drinking at them; which solved nothing. The problems were no where near as severe as the alcoholism.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 12:05 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by sourbaby1986 View Post
Maybe my problem is depression and/or anxiety and my mild to moderate abuse of substances is contributing to that.
Fixed your post.

Google Alcohol and Anxiety and you can read for the next week about the link between those two. I was ate up with it. I'd quit drinking and I'd get anxious and then I'd drink to get over the anxiety - never ever realizing the alcohol was causing 95% of my anxiety in the first place. It is a viscous carousel, and the only way to get off the ride is to get off the ride.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 02:39 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
AnvilheadII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
sourbaby, for a long time now you've been seeking the INSTANT fix....got a feeling? take a pill to make it go away.

sobriety and recovery are not going to be the instant balm you seek - it's going to take TIME and WORK. and it's going to feel uncomfortable, a lot. because it's different and you are no longer USING your way thru life. but IF you stick with it, stay clean, go to meetings, stick with the winners and give TIME TIME, you will experience the joys of being sober. it probably won't be tomorrow tho, sorry.

i am not a craftsy person by any means, but have you ever watched how a quilt is made? one little square at a time. lots of little pieces of fabric sewn together, then the little pieces sewn together to make a bigger piece. the average full size quilt is composed of 624 of them little squares. think of the patience and dedication that takes. with LOTS of repetition, and it takes TIME before the full beautiful pattern is seen. on day one it doesn't resemble much of anything, just heaps of scraps of fabric. RECOVERY is like that......you are on your way to creating a beautiful unique collage.
AnvilheadII is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 02:42 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
I self medicated for depression, for pain, and for social anxiety.
Over the years tho, that self medication became alcoholism.

If you have a medical or emotional problems, I think bringing in a professional is essential, in the majority of cases

Alcohol or drugs never really helped with any of my problems.

I may have had a lot of knowledge but I lacked the perspective, or the distance needed to treat myself.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 02:45 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
I was self medicating depression and anxiety with alcohol. But the antidepressants I was taking don't work when I'm drinking. When I got sober the depression and anxiety got a lot better and now my meds work as they should. Drinking causes depression and anxiety.
least is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 03:23 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,373
like Anvil said, it takes time, work, and willingness to be uncomfortable.

It is absolutely worth it, but if you are used to instant gratification
like we all were when we used, it will most likely be quite difficult at times.

Get support and don't give up. . . you'll be amazed at how good life can be
on its own terms in a year. . .
Hawkeye13 is online now  
Old 12-12-2015, 04:12 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Sourbaby, I'm gonna assume ya didn't start drinkin/drugging last week. Prolly been doing it for a few years. It's going to take time and action for those promises to materialize. They willalways materialize if ya work for them.
Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. But if worked for they will.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 04:52 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Either way alcohol is doing you no favours, you drink because your depressed which then makes you even more unhappy, or you don't drink and sort out your depression.

The reality is still the same, alcohol is not helping, and for me alcohol simply creating more anxiety and more depression as it's a depressant.

Which ever way you cut it, alcohol is not a long term solution to anything.

I think your suffering from what most addicts suffer from, and that is impatience, life does not work off a series of switches, there are no quick fixes to anything, it's going to take time, and the sooner I accepted that this was going to be a journey the better I realised the task at hand!!
PurpleKnight is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:36 AM.