Had An Awakening
My AH has been in recovery for about 19 months now. It's amazing how quickly I had forgotten how bad it really was when he was actively drinking.
Today I got to re-live what I used to go have to deal with, through someone elses eyes. My AH's old drinking friend is staying with us, he is trying to get sober. He has been attending meetings with my hubby on a daily basis, and went back to work. I have even grown close to his girlfriend who also comes and stays when she is not working. He was doing really well.......up until yesterday. He left the house at 12 noon and said he was going to met up with his sister, then pick up his girlfriend at work at 5pm.
Well I am sure we all know where this is going right???? Long story short, he never came back last night and still isin't back yet and it is 6:30pm. Anyways his girlfriend has been constantly calling his phone, he dosen't answer unless she *67's it. When she finally gets through to him he either hangs up or yells at her. So she asked me to drive her down to his house to get some of her stuff.
We were driving in the car, and she was crying, soo upset. Then it hit me THIS USED TO BE ME.......EXACTLY It took me back to the days when I would go through the same things with my hubby. Suddenly I felt this huge amount of guilt for ever getting pissed off at my hubby for going to sooo many meetings. I had totally forgot the way that it used to be, how bad it used to be, and how I felt when it was happening. I used to pray that he would get help and then it happened and I would actually get mad at him for it.
When we go to be at night I am going to tell him that I am very grateful that he works his program. I am going to tell him how proud I am of him for fighting this disease (because I know it is really hard sometimes.)
Anyways I just wanted to share with everyone, my own little awakening...it wasen't much but it was enough to make me think.