Originally Posted by pams

@ Kiki. I would love some planning to get through the holiday season. It's unfortunate that my season isn't really about the festivities that makes me want to drink...it's more about missing loved ones. My Mom has been gone for 10 years, my Dad for 7 years and although I come from a huge family, 5 older brothers, ...and well, they all suck. They cant be bothered with me or something. I don't know. I quit trying. I left far too many family functions crying trying to fit in and be a part of the family; a person can only take so much rejection. My husband's family is far away, except for one brother who lives in the same town. I was best friends with the brother's wife but then after 17 years they decided to call it quits and she moved far away. And 18 months ago he had some hissy fit about something that only makes sense to him and refuses to speak to us. Which is awkward since him and his girlfriend and her kids live in our rental house, next door. Ugh. I was not able to have children of my own, my husband is estranged from his adult daughter....so, it's just him and I during the holidays. Which is by no means the booby prize...he is wonderful. I just get sad sometimes. I miss when my Mom was alive and the Christmas dinners....she was definitely the glue that held my family together.

So yeah...I would love to feel like I am a part of 'something' this holiday season.....