Really amazing experience, strength and hope shared in this thread - I can smell the brewing coffee!
I will add simply this for consideration as it helped me not all that long ago. My sponsor suggested I look fir the "boulders " the first time through the 4th step. This helped a lot. As we learn and stack some time , more is revealed and we gain insight.
He also suggested if inventory gets to dark and painful put it down for awhile. Alcoholics want it done NOW! Patience for me is a learned trait - one I am beginning to enjoy and truly view as virtuous.
Finally - an old timer said to me once - when we come into AA some of us need to soften up while others need to toughen up.
We are typically extremists - ego maniacs with an inferiority complex best described me.
Good thread - it will help many