Originally Posted by
Butterfly 
So last night we had our 3rd date went out for a meal and then to his house, we talked for hours before it became obvious he was interested in sex. Initially I said no that I wasn't prepared to sleep with someone I was dating and we somehow got into this debate about how I need to go with the flow and do what feels right and if I wasn't ready for sex he thought I wasn't ready for anything else.
There is nothing wrong with saying no to sex on a third date. A good man will respect the boundaries that a woman communicates, rather than trying to convince her to drop her boundaries. When things started getting serious with the last girl that I dated, she told me one night "this is as far as I want to go tonight." My response? "Okay." Did I want to go further? Of course I did, but pressing the matter would show a lack of respect for her feelings and what she is comfortable with.
I think the most important thing for you to take away from this is that if you state a boundary, you have to be prepared to stick with it. Plant your feet in the ground and stand up for yourself. Don't let someone walk across your boundary, because if you do, that's when you start losing control and fall back into old habits. And I don't think I need to remind anyone here that excess alcohol consumption will loosen your inhibitions to the point where you won't stand up for your boundaries as well as you would when sober, and when you wake up in the morning after letting someone cross your boundary you feel bad about yourself. If you want to break that cycle, the way to do it is to practice reinforcing your boundaries rather than giving in to the urges of others.