Hi. I'm sorry you are going through this and please don't beat up on yourself. You're not an idiot. I don't know if he was intentionally being manipulative, or just a typical one of the gazillions of bozos who are not interested in anything serious and just wants things to come with no effort. It's not your fault for hoping he would be different and respect you. However, look at it this way, it is no big loss at all that he's gone away. Just keep out looking for yourself and move forward.