We spoke at length today... it helped... I realise how he tries too, and how I hurt him... but we'll see how it change. .. we both do love each other. ... but it needs to grow again, not stagnate... and I need to be sober!!! I think I was being too hard on him to justify my own freaking out.... poor guy having to deal with me from 20 years!
Still not drinking. .. but as feel happier it is more tempting !!! I'm. Not though nonononononononono nnnnnooooo!!!