Hi AIG, I'd be inclined to let him see her and I'll give you a few reasons why which you can evaluate against your experience:
- She's clearly looking for a father, and this at least will provide her with a face and name. Children are very adaptable, and if she doesn't see him often she'll come to accept that as the norm. The danger would be if she sees him often and then he withdraws from her life.
- Telling him no may push him in the other direction, and he may insist on seeing her. If he's as unreliable as before, one visit may be all he needs to go away, but you'll have much less control over how the visits go if you're forced into them.
- Children benefit from contact with their parents. The parents may be ratbags, but as long as the child has a reasonably positive experience with them, it's good for the child. Hopefully he'll be on best behaviour with her.
- As the biological father, he has some rights, whatever his moral deficiencies. It could develop into a positive thing for both of them.
You could agree to him coming for a 'play date' with you present. That would be a safe way of them seeing each other and you could let him get it out of his system.