Originally Posted by
Hawkeye13 
It sounds like you have some deep issues with the marriage enfan. . .
Part of your recovery may be to get with a therapist and start to look into these.
You will need to prepare and act on a sobriety plan
For example, what will you do when your husband is drinking at home and you are triggered?
How will you distract yourself from cravings until they pass?
What interests can you start or go back to to fill the time you used to drink?
These are really important things to think out ahead of time and develop responses to. . .
You are a good person underneath who seems deeply unhappy in her life circumstances to me.
What other kinds of steps can you take after you get more stable in sobriety
to make changes in your life for the better?
Do you work outside the home? Are you interested in further education
or a job/ different job?
Mental stimulation is really important. I also advocate exercise and fitness
as a way to deal with the anxiety and worry in early sobriety.
Hawkeye, you're right... I've tried to address them with him over the years... but he thinks it's all OK. He won't do therapy. ... I have a very stressful job which nearly kills me, I teach 16-18 science a levels... and he is a teacher too. I always loose it before Xmas and kind of meltdown. And drink too much... but this time I have really done it. ....
When I lay off the booze I can keep a tight lid on all the feelings and unhappiness. Just screw it down and keep smiling... but regular boozing means I can't keep the lid on, and boom. Lust alert! It's so ridiculous... I just didn't care. I have 2 gorgeous kids and I didn't care. Shamefull. ... I have a husband who works hard and cares for us... it's disgusting what I did....