Originally Posted by
Determined82 
Hey Enfin
Wanted to reach out and introduce myself.
I'm Emily and I too am on day 2 of my recovery!
Like you I'm still reeling in the catastrophe that was Friday night but am absolutely determined in my resolve to knock my addiction on the head! (My main problem being Cocaine).
Please believe me when I tell you that like you I have committed some epic eff ups whilst under the influence. Luckily all has been forgiven and I'm grateful that me and my husband can work on our recovery with a clean slate (he is also an addict of many sorts). Hopefully your husband will forgive you too... In time. Time is a great healer and the fact that you didn't sleep with this guy will help! You said your husband drinks too? Does he want/ need to quit? It will probably be easier if he does and will be something you can do together which may help rebuild your relationship.
So I wish you all the best and will follow your quest. Bring on day 3 for us both. We can do this
x
I just think I have broken it beyond repair...we have been together 20 years and somethings not quite right. ...he thinks everything is fine... but I've not felt right for ages... something I need I'm jot getting? Affection maybe, love, lust, respect? ??? I find it hard to know my own mind, I'm always wrong anyway.... we drink together coz we always have... it makes us have fun, so we think. .. if we don't have a nasty argument. I mostly goto bed alone as he's watching TV more, often cry myself to sleep with frustration. ... he knows that too.
A few weeks ago at a family do his brother and wife asked me why I always defer to my husband and always ask his permission... I wasn't aware I did, but it's habit so I don't make him cross. That's not normal is it? ????
We can't split up coz of the kids, no one has ever split up before in our families.... I just want him back to how he was... but he doesn't see he has done anything wrong.... and now I have cracked after drinking wed, Thurs and Friday night... I had 10 pints and some vodka redbulls before I went off with the lad... I knew it was wrong, but did it anyway. I did keep saying no, got to stop, but was to pissed to actually stop , he was very insistent and of course part of me wanted to. More guilt there then...
Just hope your Friday wasn't that bad!!! Coke is a horrid drug too, so I wish u luck. .. I have a friend who ditched that as his skin felt like spiders were on it at night and he never slept + awful....
Will help you all they way! Good luck and have a nice Sunday! X