Key - Happy Birthday!! Do you have anything special planned to enjoy the day?
This Thanksgiving was my 2nd one sober, and the first where I've been happy to be sober. Last year I was grateful for my sobriety, and this year I felt joyous happy and free.
Previously, in addiction, my life was constant turmoil. The only time I felt "good" was when I was winning, succeeding, acquiring - or drinking. Thanksgiving was a low key gathering, the same one I go to every year. Some family members are wacky, some are selfish, and some are quirky, and in my sober state of mind, I enjoyed it.
Carlos mentioned in his last post on the previous thread that recovery has afforded him the opportunity for emotional sobriety. I've found that as well on so many levels. I saw mine play out yesterday as I focused on making the most of my day instead of getting mad about what everyone else was doing wrong.
This transformation took work. I don't magically agree with everyone, or naturally go with the flow. Far from it! But I no longer need to be the behavioral police. When I find myself swimming upstream, though, my friends in recovery are there to gently guide me back in the right direction. I can trust them to level with me, and help me back onto the beam.
Today I am heading to another youth hockey tournament. These used to be weekend long parties for me, with heavy drinking into the wee hours. Last hockey season, my first one sober, I resented having to go because I felt there was nothing in it for me. My friends in recovery and my sponsor helped me come to realize over the past year and a half that what's "in it for me" is the ability to provide my children with memories they'll hopefully cherish for a lifetime.
To see the change in my perspective from total self-centeredness in addiction where it was all about me partying, to early recovery where I didn't see the point in going if I wasn't drinking and having a blast, to being grateful to have the means to provide my children this opportunity and the ability to watch them enjoy it, is a testament miracle of recovery.
This is just one of the many miracles playing out in my life every day as a result of embracing recovery. My best to all of you!