Hey guys! Day 33 for me. Thanksgiving with the family actually went really well. I just brought sparkling cider and drank that. Everyone has been bugging me and my boyfriend about when we're going to have babies, so they were all wondering if I was pregnant since I wasn't drinking. Surprisingly nobody pressured me at all to drink (though everybody was pretty blasted themselves). I also got a lot of remarks about how great I looked, so that's a nice (albeit a bit vain) benefit of not drinking. Goodbye bloatiness!
It's also interesting to be around drunk people when you're not drunk yourself. Somehow, it's not as much fun.
Anyway, I am really enjoying myself these days. I feel so much healthier and I actually have a hopeful outlook for my future, which I haven't had in what feels like forever. The more days I get, the more I also realize that alcohol made me so selfish. I got to the point where it seemed like my every waking thought had to do with alcohol. Where will I get it? I already went to that store this week, so I can't go to that one. I have to go to this one. Where will I hide it when I get home? Can I take sips when he's not looking? How will I hide the fact that I'm drunk? Where can I hide the empty bottles so he doesn't find them? Dealing with that, plus all of the guilt and the shame and the hopelessness doesn't leave you much time to think about much else in your life, much less worry about what other people are doing.
This past month, I've been trying to focus on being the best person I can be, and a huge part of that includes being there for other people when they need me. I've been able to take pleasure in the small things. I actually have a head start on my Christmas shopping. My house is clean. This is the cheesiest thing ever, but my life right now feels like when Dorothy steps out of her house and sees Oz for the first time. It's like a whole new world opened up for me, and I'm enjoying every bit of it. Do I still struggle with cravings? Hell yes I do. But when I compare what my life was like with alcohol to how my life has been without it, I wouldn't change a thing.
Sorry for the long post! I hope that you're all having a wonderful day, and I pray for strength and courage for all of you. =)