Recent news about my brother
I received a phone call from my mom the other night about my older brother who fell off the wagon quite hard several weeks ago, unbeknownst to anybody in the family except for mother. For quite a number of years now, he has had ongoing issues with a variety of DOC's and various lengths of sobriety, but his chosen methods of getting clean haven't been effective ones - trying to white knuckle it on his own, switching from alcohol and cigarettes to weed "because it wasn't addictive or as bad for him" and then having the old habits creep back in. That sort of thing. Several years back he went through an ugly separation from his wife (who to my understanding also has substance use issues) and hasn't been able to come to terms with the breakdown of the relationship in a healthy way.
When my own marriage fell apart and I put myself into the hospital, my actions shocked him into a short period of sobriety and it looked like he was really starting to pull his life together - getting a good job, starting to pay off his debts, being more open and social with our family, trying hard to stay away from alcohol. Somewhere along the way though I noticed old habits and behaviors creeping back in, in the way that he would act and interact with others, and I stopped actively trying to communicate with him because I was still very much going through my own healing process and didn't want to be around someone who appeared to be active in an addiction.
Thus the phone call from my mom, who still tries to keep in touch with him (without enabling him, she understands how addictions work). Long story short, he blew through his entire paycheck on a weekend bender immediately after getting paid and lost his job after not showing up or calling in for work numerous days in a row. After he called our mom to ask for help in finding a men's shelter, he hasn't been answering her text messages for quite some time now.
I hope that this is his rock bottom, and that he starts actively seeking out recovery options. At the same time, if he reaches out to me for help, I recognize that aside from being there to listen, there is literally nothing I can do to help him through this because he has to be the one to drive his recovery, and not someone else. Addiction is a curse that just keeps on giving.
Not really looking for advice, just felt the need to talk about it. Thanks.