(((((((((((Q)))))))))))
I want to be who I always thought I would be. I know that everything happens in small bits and steps, but dramatic change *has* to occur.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but a dramatic change will occur--in it's own time. We alcoholics tend to want that "quick fix", but the reality of the situation is that all good things take time.
Try to take it easy on yourself. You have already made a lot of changes in your life, and you may not yet be able to see the results of some. Many times I have mentioned in meetings or to my sponsor that I feel like nothing has changed and they invariably say, "Honey! You are so different than when you came in here. You have grown up so much!" I would like to say the same to you right now.
I don't think it would hurt to make a list of goals you have for yourself, and then realistically choose which ones to tackle first. However, keep in mind that the most important thing for you to do is to stay sober. Without sobriety, we have nothing.
Hang in there!
Hugs--