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Old 06-24-2005, 10:59 AM
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wondering...

As I move through recovery, I am beginning to think more seriously about my future goals. It's something of a challenge - a big one - as I seem to have drowned the capacity to hope and dream for myself right along with various other things in my life in alcohol. I am having to re-learn how to do these things, as silly as that might sound. I am just about convinced that I'm not too old to begin anew, though that's taking time too.

The reason for this thread is this: do you think that big changes - sweeping, challenging, positive changes - can be made in relatively early recovery? Is Nike right - "Just Do It"? I still struggle with the same issues that are wound around why I ended up abusing alcohol to begin with, but I am doing that in a systematic and mostly healthy fashion. I feel as though I have let my muscles of willpower, such as they are, atrophy away to the point of nothingness, leading me to procrastinate and lose even more time than I already have. Can I just leap back into things? I'm getting sort of tired of nursing myself along... sometimes I wish I could step outside myself and give myself a shake to snap me into action. Am I making any sense here? I don't want to lose any more time to alcoholism - I am done with that - but the aftereffects are lingering longer than I would like.

I want to be who I always thought I would be. I know that everything happens in small bits and steps, but dramatic change *has* to occur.

Any comments on this rambling mess would be appreciated. Have any of you made huge, soul-sweeping, terrific changes in your sobriety?

thank you... and good weekends to all!
--anne
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Old 06-24-2005, 11:07 AM
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(((((((((((Q)))))))))))
I want to be who I always thought I would be. I know that everything happens in small bits and steps, but dramatic change *has* to occur.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but a dramatic change will occur--in it's own time. We alcoholics tend to want that "quick fix", but the reality of the situation is that all good things take time.

Try to take it easy on yourself. You have already made a lot of changes in your life, and you may not yet be able to see the results of some. Many times I have mentioned in meetings or to my sponsor that I feel like nothing has changed and they invariably say, "Honey! You are so different than when you came in here. You have grown up so much!" I would like to say the same to you right now.

I don't think it would hurt to make a list of goals you have for yourself, and then realistically choose which ones to tackle first. However, keep in mind that the most important thing for you to do is to stay sober. Without sobriety, we have nothing.

Hang in there!

Hugs--
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Old 06-24-2005, 11:12 AM
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Did you come into the realization that you had a drinking problem on your own? We're always the last to know

If, you've got good support from family and friends, this is easy from the get go. You're no longer a cripple. You don't have to use a crutch any longer. Plan for the future and live for today.

I always lived in the future. I din't bother my self with the past. Why should we? We can't change what's been done. living right to day ensures us of a happy future.

All the best to you as you continue your road to recovery

hugs

Chris
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Old 06-24-2005, 11:45 AM
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For me, it's plan the work, work the plan, but don't expect the outcome. That's where I've always been disappointed. I've got to accept that outcome no matter what.

I have goals. No doubt. Here are a couple of examples of my life, and how I've found that the Higher Power connection helps me immensely...

1. I had a goal to be a sales manager in my company. I had set it to be completed this year. I know the hiring director very well. The exact job came up for application about a month ago. I applied. The day before the first panel interview, someone started a conversation with me which made me start to second guess this goal at this point in my career. My "gut-o-meter" was going off. I talked it through with friends and family, and withdrew from this position for now. I used to be so determined to get the goal that I wouldn't listen for God's voice! I would have gotten this job, too if I was determined to get it. Now, thanks to AA, I can stop, think and listen to the right way....

2. I registered for yet another triathlon next month. My overall goal is to finish. I'm pretty sure I can do that (never know though, bike crash, etc.). I do have some secondary time-based goals I have set. Again, used to be that if I didn't meet those goals, I would beat the hell out of myself OR better yet -- not even try! Now, I can go and race my hardest, hope for a great time, and accept whatever the race gives me...

SO, with all that babbling -- you can get back into life, but PLEASE remember that sobriety needs to be top priority -- OVER EVERYTHING! I have nothing in this world if I go and take that first drink...

Just my 2 cents...

Ken
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Old 06-24-2005, 11:53 AM
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Anne,
You have already made one life changing decision in giving up drink. If you can succeed with that I reckon you can succeed with anything else you put your mind to.
I believe that in oder for us to grow and improve we need a succession of challenges to give our lives real meaning. I have decided to enrol in the UK's Open University to stretch my mind and get myself the university degree I reckon I am capable of. The thought of the work ahead, the study, the exams and the pressure from tutors is tremendously exciting, as though a whole new world is opening up to me.
Whatever it is that you want to do, whatever it is that you want to be, get out there and go for it.
All the best
Michael
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Old 06-24-2005, 12:06 PM
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Oh, just thought of a good one I heard at a meeting:

You can plan the fishing trip, just don't plan the fish fry!
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Old 06-24-2005, 12:11 PM
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Hi Anne,

I think you can do whatever you want to do. My concern would be that you try to take hold of things and control them, to the point where you begin using addictive behaviour. It's like Ken said you have to listen to the inner voice when it's talking to you. But, it's a good idea to have goals and to move forward in your life.

Love, Anna
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Old 06-24-2005, 12:32 PM
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Certainly

Annne...
My freedom from drinking that gives me choices to make positive changes!

I have gone back to college...changed careers twice..moved twice to different states... dumped a still drinking lover...studied subjects for sheer interest..lost weight volunteered at a free clinic..cut and dyed my hair.

I started these changes at about 1 year sober.


Sweeping dramatic chamges?

I think so!
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Old 06-24-2005, 01:12 PM
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For me what I have learned about myself is that I do everything to the extreme. When it comes to setting goals for myself I have to set attainable goals because if I see or feel that i am not suceeding to my satisfaction I say f it. I have to keep in mind how important is it right now in my life. Will I still be able to do the things I need to do to take care of myself. Because with more responsibility comes more stress and sometimes less time for me. So I have to way the pros and cons of each situation and put things into perspective. Remember anything I place before my sobriety I will surely lose.
Lauren
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