wondering...
As I move through recovery, I am beginning to think more seriously about my future goals. It's something of a challenge - a big one - as I seem to have drowned the capacity to hope and dream for myself right along with various other things in my life in alcohol. I am having to re-learn how to do these things, as silly as that might sound. I am just about convinced that I'm not too old to begin anew, though that's taking time too.
The reason for this thread is this: do you think that big changes - sweeping, challenging, positive changes - can be made in relatively early recovery? Is Nike right - "Just Do It"? I still struggle with the same issues that are wound around why I ended up abusing alcohol to begin with, but I am doing that in a systematic and mostly healthy fashion. I feel as though I have let my muscles of willpower, such as they are, atrophy away to the point of nothingness, leading me to procrastinate and lose even more time than I already have. Can I just leap back into things? I'm getting sort of tired of nursing myself along... sometimes I wish I could step outside myself and give myself a shake to snap me into action. Am I making any sense here? I don't want to lose any more time to alcoholism - I am done with that - but the aftereffects are lingering longer than I would like.
I want to be who I always thought I would be. I know that everything happens in small bits and steps, but dramatic change *has* to occur.
Any comments on this rambling mess would be appreciated. Have any of you made huge, soul-sweeping, terrific changes in your sobriety?
thank you... and good weekends to all!
--anne