What to Do with Codependent "Sponginess"
Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, I, like many codependents have become very, very good at decoding everyone's moods in the room, almost instantly. I am actually pretty talented at sensing what everyone is feeling or if anything is "off", almost immediately. Now, before recovery, I always thought that the moods of everyone or the vibe of the situation was somehow my responsibility to fix. And in doing my self-proclaimed "fixing duty", I first had to interpret why a particular person was in the mood that they were in or having the feelings that they were having. Now, while I am great at sensing moods or feelings, a lot of times my interpretations were way off!! Why? Many times it is because I personalized that the other person's mood always had something to do with me and second, I am a wonderful codependent "catastrophizer." So, my interpretations always leaned towards the worst case scenarios.
So, I am learning that other people's moods/feelings are not my responsibility unless my actions have lead to their moods and feelings and then, in that case, it is the other party's responsibility to communicate that to me. I am learning to detach and stop my "spidey senses" from tingling too much, but when they do, I try to stop my thoughts from spiraling to worst case scenarios. It hasn't been easy, but my awareness is at least slowing the process down.
What are things that you do to stop you from crossing your side of the fence in this regard? How have you stopped giving a lot of attention to your "sponginess" of other people's moods?