Three years is a pittance for what he did--and it sounds like a VERY strong case, what with the SWAT team and all. As I said, about the only thing about it that appeals to me in the slightest is sparing you and your family the ordeal of a trial. He needs to be GONE for a good, long time.
Honestly, I think the bottom line is that his problem isn't alcohol. And he isn't motivated enough to change his abusive ways. For some people the only thing you can do is to remove them from the picture long enough to provide the family with safety.
While I'm sure the prosecutor will take your feelings into account, ultimately it's the State's decision, not yours. He made it the State's business when he did what he did to you and the kids.
If he doesn't take the plea, honestly, you and the kids will be OK. If you ask for it, I'm sure you can get some massive support for your daughter if she has to testify. For now, keep breathing and see what happens.
Hugs! You're doing great.