OT-Deposition Tomorrow

Old 11-16-2015, 07:28 PM
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OT-Deposition Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the deposition with his public defender. I'm not looking forward to this. My kids certainly are not looking forward to it. I told them to tell their truths, and nothing more. My truth is my truth and their truth is their truth.

He sent me an anniversary card. I am bringing it with me tomorrow. He didn't send it directly to me, of course, because he is "Mr. Too Clever For You" . He called multiple times tonight. He is scrambling to try to find out what we are going to tell the attrny tomorrow.

I just want this to be over.
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Old 11-16-2015, 07:44 PM
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((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Wishing you the best for tomorrow, and yes, just tell the truth. Don't respond to his phone calls. Thinking about you, and will check back tomorrow with you.

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Old 11-16-2015, 07:46 PM
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I just want this to be over.

I know the feeling. You can do this. Stay strong. You'll be in my thoughts.
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Old 11-16-2015, 08:12 PM
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Aww...thank you guys. I will carry those thoughts with me tomorrow He uses the guise of calling to talk to our daughter to get messages to me, and to outright talk to me (freaking judge denied the no contact with our daughter part of my original restraining order). At least everything he says is recorded so I don't have to try and please the case that he broke no contact. It is all there in his own voice.
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Old 11-16-2015, 08:18 PM
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what time is this? so I know when to check in with you? I'll be thinking of you and sending you the best of wishes.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
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Old 11-16-2015, 08:46 PM
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The thing about depositions. Don't say more than what is asked of you. You tell the truth in as little response as possible. They can make it way longer if you give them more to go on.

They can fish for anything they think they can catch.
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Old 11-17-2015, 09:31 AM
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Sending you good thoughts and peace today hexx. Can't wait til this is all over for you.
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Old 11-17-2015, 09:49 AM
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Sending you hugs and prayers for a speedy deposition. Peace to you
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Old 11-17-2015, 03:22 PM
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Yeah, Fla is one of the few states that routinely does discovery depositions in criminal cases. If you can, meet with the prosecutor for a few minutes before it starts so s/he can prep you.

And yes, try to answer only the question asked, if you don't understand it ask for the question to be re-worded. If the question is objectionable, the prosecutor will object. Just be as honest and to the point as you can, and everything will be fine.

If it's any comfort, sometimes a good deposition can go a long way toward convincing the defendant to plead guilty rather than go to trial, so you never know--this may spare you more hassle down the road. No guarantees, of course, but it's been known to happen.
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Old 11-17-2015, 03:57 PM
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I think it went well. I went first. I met with the prosecutor for about 30 minutes ahead of time. I turned in the letter and anniversary card that he sent me last on Friday. Prosecutor entered it in to evidence.

Even though I cried through most of it, the PD never really asked me any questions (mostly just what time certain things happened). She was even the one that told me that I don't need to keep adding money to my phone so he can call our daughter. The he can contact her via letter and it wouldn't be considered me keeping from her.

It took about an hour all together. I just told her what happened and she had no follow up questions (except for if I was planning no filing for divorce and if I wanted him to do prison time and if I felt he needed alcohol treatment).

She met with my son next. He was there about 15 minutes. After that, they decided not to meet with my daughter (I am so grateful for that). They said they didn't want to put her through it.

Prosecution is going to offer him a second deal (he declined the first which was 5 yrs in and 3 probation). They are going to offer him 3 years prison, 5 years probation, and no contact with either myself, my son, or my daughter. Even the PD said that he could get 20 years if he decides to take it to trial. If it does go to trial then my daughter may have to give a statement, but as of right now she doesn't.

I guess we will see what happens next.
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Old 11-17-2015, 04:08 PM
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Oops, I missed that this was happening TODAY.

Sounds like it went very well--so glad to hear it!

Guess my instincts were right about where this might be headed. Sounds like the PD now has some ammunition she can sit down with to talk to him about. That's actually one advantage to the discovery deps--at least when you have good witnesses. The defense attorney can tell his/her client, "Do you know what a jury is going to want to do to you after they hear HER testify? And the child? And when the jury finds you guilty, the judge will have heard ALL the ugly details, and you are going away for a long, long time."

It can be very effective.

Oh, and I hope you made a point of telling your son what a stand-up guy he is.
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Old 11-17-2015, 05:06 PM
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Thanks Lexie! I thought there were going to be a lot more questions, a lot of "well he says this" kind of thing. I was surprised when they said they didn't want to interview my daughter. I guess since my story has remained consistent over the multiple times I have told it, and that it is backed up by what my son said multiple times they figured they had enough. Great thing about telling the truth is that you never have to remember what you have told any one. I also think that the fact I proved he has willfully violated the restraining order helps me out as well.

I will certainly let my son know how amazing he is. This has been hard for him too, but he did an outstanding job today. He actually said it wasn't that bad and they didn't ask him any questions at all.
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Old 11-17-2015, 07:33 PM
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I'm having a hard time articulating about the 3 years in prison on that offer, yet I can understand the wisdom of a deal that includes no contact with the children and you.

One day at a time.

I'm so very glad you're safe,and you're surrounded by people helping to keep the three of you safe.

Congratulations on how far you've come!
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:40 AM
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Glad this is over - would the no contact continue through his 5 years probation?

Gotta say I I believe he deserves the 5 years and am surprised they are offering him 3. Is it to be 3 full or will he get out early for good behavior?
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Old 11-18-2015, 01:20 PM
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I'm surprised by the drop from five to three years, also. I was assuming the no contact was "no contact, period." I wasn't thinking of a shorter time-frame. Any way it goes, it's good to know you have resources and people surrounding you to help.

How are you doing today?

I tend to do better when chaos hits and then I have tumbling emotions on "normal" days. It continues to improve, though. Thinking of you and sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Ktf
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Old 11-18-2015, 01:43 PM
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The prison time isn't for violation of "no contact"--it was for an extremely brutal assault. About the only virtue of a plea is to spare the kids from having to testify.

A "no contact" condition as part of a sentence only applies while the defendant is subject to court (or parole) supervision. Once that time is up, it's up. If one of those conditions is violated, the court or the parole board can usually order the defendant back to prison to serve the rest of his sentence.

But a civil protection order can be of indefinite duration. Which is why, even if the court orders no contact as part of the sentence in the criminal case it's a good idea to get a civil protective order as well.
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Old 11-18-2015, 04:10 PM
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Lexie, thanks for clearing some of that up. I do have a civil order that is no contact as well, which is in place for me. I tried for no contact with my daughter with the civil but the judge denied that piece. I can go back to court and ask to have it changed, which I may end up doing before he gets off of probation (if he takes the deal). I am hoping he does the right thing by his daughter and takes the deal to spare her from testifying. Hopefully I will know something in a relatively short amount of time.

They asked me about alcohol treatment and I told them that he has already been through the Batter's Intervention Program, mandatory AA meetings, counseling, and the monthly urine tests with his last probation. I explained that I thought it needed to be something different as he figured out how to work the system last time.

3 years does seem like a long time, but I think they are just trying to get a conviction at this point and have all this be over for me and the kids.
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Old 11-18-2015, 04:42 PM
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Three years is a pittance for what he did--and it sounds like a VERY strong case, what with the SWAT team and all. As I said, about the only thing about it that appeals to me in the slightest is sparing you and your family the ordeal of a trial. He needs to be GONE for a good, long time.

Honestly, I think the bottom line is that his problem isn't alcohol. And he isn't motivated enough to change his abusive ways. For some people the only thing you can do is to remove them from the picture long enough to provide the family with safety.

While I'm sure the prosecutor will take your feelings into account, ultimately it's the State's decision, not yours. He made it the State's business when he did what he did to you and the kids.

If he doesn't take the plea, honestly, you and the kids will be OK. If you ask for it, I'm sure you can get some massive support for your daughter if she has to testify. For now, keep breathing and see what happens.

Hugs! You're doing great.
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Old 11-18-2015, 06:18 PM
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Thanks Lexie. And yes, if we do have to go to trial, we WILL be ok. We have made it this far, and we will make it through that as well. Part of almost wishes he would take it to trial and get the 20.

And I agree, the alcohol really isn't the problem. It is the abuse and sense of entitlement. I could almost deal with just the drinking. He used it to not feel the guilt of what he was doing (though really I think that isn't 100% true either). I think he just thought he was bullet proof and chose to keep doing things that were self destructive because he thought he was above the consequences. I know he was depressed and self medicating, however the abuse has been something that he has been working toward his whole life (treating people poorly, manipulating women, etc). He just needs to be gone from my life and the lives of my children.
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Old 11-19-2015, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by redatlanta View Post
Glad this is over - would the no contact continue through his 5 years probation?

Gotta say I I believe he deserves the 5 years and am surprised they are offering him 3. Is it to be 3 full or will he get out early for good behavior?
The no contact would be for the full term of his probation, and continued on for as long as I have the civil restraining order.

I am not sure if it would be for the full three years, honestly I am thinking he would get time served calculated in that along with potential time off for good behavior....but I am not sure.
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