Originally Posted by
Ally89 
I have said that so many times- they get it so easy, they can just move on and I wish there was a way I could do the same. But actually when you think about it there is NO WAY I would want that life for myself. They live in a web of lies, where they even lie and manipulate their own families. Completely devoid of morality and character, that is no way to live, it is not living it is merely existing and it seems as if your XAGF is not doing a particularly good job at even that.
You have an opportunity to learn from this and do better next time. You should feel hurt, angry and betrayed for being abused as you have been. Shame on her.
I would suggest blocking her number. I read a lot about this when I first joined the forum and it took me a while to be able to do it. But when you read about what may follow it is worth it. Either she will come back with more manipulation which will set you back, or she will completely ignore you and move on which will hurt even more. I have even seen some getting 'accidentally' sent messages meant for new partners which again are attempts to manipulate and abuse you. As we have seen the patterns are all the same so this is what you are looking at. I didn't want to gamble with any of them so blocked any means of him communicating with me.
I hope things improve for you soon.
^^
THIS.
I totally second blocking any and all communcation you have with her. There's a high probability that she may do something even crazier to draw you back in, make you jealous, or get even. You did the only thing you could do to win the game: you stopped playing. It gets worse when one tries to leave because the addict has lost control. She can still damage you with her texts, emails, etc. She could send you photos or messages "accidentally" that she wanted to send someone else. She'll try everything in her playbook. If she completely ignores you, then consider that a blessing.
It may also be worth mentioning that you may consider blocking any friends and/or family that could tie you to her. Even if there is someone that understands you, it may not be safe to keep talking to them. Addiction is a family disease. The addicts exist because someone else enables them. Hence, the codependents in the family that enabled the alcoholic are often just as sick as the alcoholic. It was only until after I got out of the relationship with my ex that I realized how quickly her mother pushed us into getting a house after we got engaged. (Fortunately, I left before that happened.) She gave me no "talk" when I asked to marry her daughter. She just said, "Take her!" That...should have set off alarm bells.
If you're not careful, there's a real danger that the family may try to draw you back in because you've been taking her weight off their shoulders. I've read at least one story of an alcoholic family trying to do that to someone on here. The only safe way out is to build your walls as high as possible. You don't owe her family anything at this point. You already did more than any one person should by being loving and supportive despite her hurtful behavior to you. It's time to take care of yourself.
Your mind is going to go in circles for a while. I had the same problem, and, sometimes, it's still a struggle for me. Our brains were programmed to keep us attached to those we care about. Basically when that happens your mind is going on a withdrawal from her much like an alcoholic has a withdrawal from the drink when getting sober. Eventually, your mind will adjust to life without her, and it honestly does get better with time.
You're doing good by coming on here and writing about it. Journaling, writing, and reading these posts in the forums helped me understand and process what happened. I hope it works for you as well.