Day 2
AH has been gone for just over 24 hours. I think some of my numbness and exhaustion is wearing off. Not sure that is good because it has my brain engaging and my emotions more heightened.
Oh well...just like the A's gotta face those things too. Trying to keep the focus on myself and not worry about what he is doing. Had a strange revelation today about our relationship. I started to stress about getting certain things done today and realized that without him here there are different priorities - actually there are 'other' priorities as with an A the priority is always them and the alcohol. I am always available to him, try to make sure I do the things he asked of me that day, that there is food, clean clothes, house is under control or it tweaks him, kids are managed, I know the schedule, bills are all paid and I remembered or somehow found out via ESP everything that he needs to do as he couldn't manage that.
So today I feel a bit of calm knowing that he can't call me today and that I will do my own first things first. Does it make sense that at the same time I'm confused, anxious and not sure of myself?