Hi Strangeangel. Welcome! I'm glad you are with us
Have you checked out the sticky on sobriety plans?:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
It helps me to establish goals for sobriety. What do I want from a sober life? It sounds like there are many parts of your life that are in shambles because of your drinking. If you were to quit, what would you be able to accomplish what you haven't been able to while drinking? Focus on that. When the cravings hit, keep that at the forefront.
Take care!