Mera I use to do the same thing, I'd feel guilty about my drinking and even on points where I needed him to hear about things we needed to work on together, the guilt kept me from being able to express it. Arguments over regular relationship drama turned into lectures about me getting too drunk. Nothing got resolved. Being sober is a wonderful thing when it comes to the relationship, because you can finally sit at the round table with him, so to speak, and really get things resolved in a more organized manner. Congrats on your sobriety!