wife, the authorities SUSPECT your son is an alcoholic--as I said, most kids "experimenting" don't bring alcohol to school. If he brought it to share with others, that isn't a whole lot better--he may not be an alcoholic, but he is bringing a dangerous drug to school, in which case it's a serious discipline problem. Either way, it's a big deal for the school, and should be a big deal for both your son and you. Someone has to get to the bottom of what's going on with him and address it, one way or another.
We are sharing our own personal experiences as people who have been through the exact same kinds of experiences you are having. Just being angry isn't going to make YOUR life any better.
If you don't like Al-Anon, fine. Just an FYI, the "random god" you are talking about is simply meant to be inclusive. Nobody is trying to take away YOUR God--it's about enhancing your relationship with YOUR God, not someone else's.
But recovery programs aside, do you feel like the way you've been dealing with the problem is working for you? Is it making your life better? If the only solution you have is to wait for him to change, to step up and act the way he should, you could have a very, very long wait on your hands. Yes, you can kick him out. The reality, however, is that for as long as you have children together, you will be dealing with him in some fashion. Child support, visitation, family milestones like graduations, weddings, birth of grandchildren--you will be crossing paths for a long time. Being in a constant state of anger is exhausting and debilitating. And it's very difficult to parent well when that's your default emotion, too.