My AVRT friends may wince whenst they read this but this is my take: I also will to never drink again (and never change my mind) but I have to get up every day and re-affirm this and actually "practice" being sober. I prolly have More "practice" at being drunk so I do have to actively think, act daily. Best wishes on recovery from All your physical ailments for now. The mental ones will be ongoing (are for me anyway).