Originally Posted by minime13

He's not getting it yet. Recovery is a lifestyle change - it's not just not drinking. A person really has to work on themselves and fundamentally change themselves and behavior so they can be a full person again.

He's playing the victim still, and you're kind of letting him by feeding into it. He's still being the active alcoholic with his behavior, which makes it seem like he's not really committed to recovery.

This is just my perception, but it seems like his posts on his social media pages are to both incite you and to paint the picture to the outside world that he's the victim because he's expecting an inevitable collapse of this marriage. He's kind of demonizing you in this world with the posts like "you can't force people to be with you." Sounds like he's throwing in the towel to me, with that kind of passive-aggressive behavior.

I'd strongly suggest following the advice of further detachment here, and concentrating on healing yourself. Either way, you do have your own healing to do. If he ever takes recovery seriously, you'll need to get back to "normal" yourself. If he doesn't, then you still need to regain yourself.

Concentrating on his childish, petty, and very passive-aggressive antics are getting you nowhere. Let him stew in the mess he's made of his life, and let him find his way out - that's what has to happen. You can concentrate on getting yourself out of that mess and becoming a healthy person again. And you should - after all, it's the expectation you have for him. You need to have it for yourself, too.

Best of luck.