RollerCoaster21

Hi All,

I decided to post here because I keep searching the internet trying to find someone, anyone, with a story similar to brother's, mine, and my family's.

My brother is 37, an alcoholic (late stage, I believe), and a chronic relapser. He's been drinking heavily for at least 18 years. At first, it started with him drinking heavily and doing things such as losing his car and trying to "sleep it off" on the side of the road, only for him to wake up and then get into an accident (no others involved). Then, it progressed to him drinking more heavily, and doing things such as hiding rum in a water bottle and passing out at the computer. Then, it progressed to him drinking a lot and losing his job(s). Followed by him blacking out from drinking and doing things such as busting his head open (17 staples needed) and crushing his finger, without him being able to recall how it happened. I have sooooo many stories... but I will stop there.

The bright side is that he has entered rehab several times. Once for a week (when he had insurance), once for a 3 months (Salvation Army ARC). He's attended AA meetings religiously. He has medically and non-medically detoxed more times than I can count. Twice, he suffered seizures because of it. He has been hospitalized and in treatment centers so many times, I honestly lost count. He maintained sobriety for 1 full year once (2 years ago) and he admits it was the healthiest and happiest he has ever been. Sadly though, he's in this cycle now where he detoxes and then relapses every few days. He drinks constantly, (including mouthwash, if the alcohol stores are closed on Sundays), doesn't eat (can't even remember when he last ate), is "scared of seizures," and locks himself up in his house until my mom calls him and asks him if he wants to come to her house to detox with someone around who could call for help is he did seize. The treatment facilities in the town he lives in will no longer accept him because they say he is not serious about his recovery. The thing is, he is serious about his recovery - for a day or two. Maybe a week, maybe 3 weeks....but no more than that.

His constant detox is killing my mom... every other week she is at home watching him be sicker than a dog, detoxing at her house. It's like Groundhog Day. She is an emotionally sensitive woman, and this is making her just as sick as it is making my brother. One week it's devastating, the next week he is a little "clearer" and we all rejoice and find renewed hope. Only for him to disappear a day or two later, and that's when we know he's relapsed...again! And we're devastated (again!) It's a roller coaster... a very fast speed roller coaster. It's sad to say, but every day, we wait to see if today is "the day" by brother will lose his battle with alcoholism. We just don't know what to do to help him. If you can imagine 18 years of trying to rally him into sobriety, trust me - we have done everything and I feel like he has done everything, too!!! I know this is something only he can do...but we can't just let him hole up in his house and die (he drinks alone, in his home - he does not drink at bars and out socially).

I have so much to say and share, but I feel like I should humanize my brother in this post. He's not just an alcoholic: he's smart, caring, good looking, people love him, he's a hard worker, a home owner (although, he just closed on his home on 10/14 and has relapsed twice since then...), he believes in a Higher Power, has helped other addicted people when he had his sober year, and I have literally seen him on his knees begging God to please take this away from him...

His addiction is killing him, my mom, and me... Any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated.

Thank you!