As an adult child of an alcoholic father and codependent enabling mother, I wish my mother would work a very strong recovery program. There would then be at least a possibility of rebuilding a relationship because I do love her and want that. But until then, our relationship will continue to move apart. She wants me to make herself feel better about her own life. That is more of the codependency. That needs to come from within and I'm not going to be part of that dance anymore.
Give yourself the gift of time and recovery. That is the best thing you can do for yourself and your adult children. You have taken the first difficult step and found awareness.