Now that I am home, I find the conversations my daughter and I had playing like a reel in my mind. While she has been in Grief therapy off and on, she seems to be a bit softer this last visit. She did sit down at the table with me and drink a pint of vodka. Then she started crying, spilling thoughts I'd not been privy to before. While she sobbed drunk, I held her hand sober. I felt sad that she had to get crocked to talk about her feelings. I never said that by the way. I haven't cremated a child, I won't pretend to know her pain, or stand in judgement. Maybe because I was sober I was able to REALLY HEAR HER. I have to ask myself if I can't change how I responded in the past, but I can be HERE and present for her now. I will be going back in 6weeks. I want him to see us there, supporting her and grand thru this.
Laundry buzzer going off...chores!
Thank you all, your words and posts have kept me going, even if I didn't post, I was reading. Prayers of peace to all.