About four or five months before I joined SR, I spent part of an evening or two surfing.
What did I find? People describing broken teeth, blood in urine, drinking in the morning and/or at work, divorce, DWI and the like. So I didn't join. Because I couldn't be as bad as "those people."
I was simply a garden variety stay-at-home alcoholic. Who couldn't string together more than a couple nights of sobriety. Whose health was impacted by my drinking. Who was planning days and weekends around drinking. How 'bout you?
I went sober on my own a couple months later and revisited SR a couple months after that. Suddenly, the stories seemed more relatable, the people more like me.
Did I cherry-pick the first time around because I'd not lost a job, not been arrested, not broken any bones, etc? Don't know. I think I was still chasing the illusion that I could moderate -- unlike "those people."
What I've learned from fellow journeyers on SR is that until we address our drinking problems, our "rock bottom" is always a step away. Somewhere down the hill a little further.
From SRers, I've learned about the progressive nature of alcoholism. And if I could have traveled back in time five, ten, fifteen years and seen how the volume and frequency of my drinking would increase over time, I'd have been horrified. How 'bout you?
Ultimately, only you can decide whether you need to stop drinking. But beware the temptation to decide you don't have a problem because your problems don't seem as bad as those of others. Because there's a word missing there: "yet."
Wishing you well and hoping you stick around.