Originally Posted by
JustAnotherDay 
Fighting my Codie behavior is my biggest battle I fear. It's like I've been reprogrammed to accept unacceptable behavior! Sometimes I just need guidance to tell me what I'm doing is the right thing because I don't know what's right after 4 years of nonsense
I think that everyone who gets involved with an alcoholic develops codependent behavior regardless of whether or not that behavior existed prior. That's just one of the many pitfalls of loving one. What you give in a normal relationship is what they gobble up without giving back. So you give more, and more. Then your expectations dip and your worry strengthens. It happens so subtly that you don't realize what you've become until you step away.
You need a break from this to right your own ship. Evict him and get your peace back in your own home. Everyone deserves peace in their own home. From what you wrote, his own words didn't sound serious. He would go to AA meetings, try harder, go to church, etc., all things that he could do and say without technically saying he would stop drinking. They get tricky, and that's why you set your boundaries and make them clear. Don't let them ever set the boundaries because they are masters at manipulating everything.
My ex got me back so many times by admitting his problem and promising that he could change. Well, sure he could. Anyone could change. That's an easy thing to say. He wasn't lying, technically, but he was leading me into hanging on while he figured out what excuse to make next. I'm sure you've seen these things with 4 years devoted to this man, but the level of manipulation with alcoholics is so off the charts. You shouldn't have to get to the point of looking for those traps.
Honestly, in the experience I have seen and heard, it is rare for an alcoholic to truly dedicate himself or herself to recovering if they have a partner to fall back on. Even if you do detach with compassion or love, you're developing your own relationship habits that you should never have to practice. Then you'll be set with the task of unbreaking those habits when normal returns. You're doing the right thing. Just stick to it and start letting yourself heal. If he does ever commit to sobriety, you're going to have to do this work yourself anyway to have a healthy relationship. You don't have to wait for him to fix himself in order for you to work on yourself.