Originally Posted by
IamMeursault2me 
thank you all. We had our first couples therapy session this week. I thought it went great. we focused on our communication styles which the therapist absolutely nailed, specifically about how we parent our kids. She's a drill instructor and I'm a negotiator which puts us at odds over how we discipline the kids. But then we got home got home and began to fight about "whatever". I am praying for strength to stay patient, tolerant and silent when I need to be. I'm trying so hard to do my part. I thought being a good provider, faithful (of course I had an affair with alcohol) and an involved parent I was doing my part but I never considered the damage I did while drinking. I hope the couple therapy works, I love my wife. I know this will take time, I'm just heartbroken at how much I hurt her and the though of her never forgiving me is painful.
Remembering the very first time in my life that I felt like a failure: & I'm trying to "pull up" what sorts of things helped me then to make a turning point and go on to succeed.
One of the things that was tremendously helpful was to use the POWER of positive thinking...and I read that book by that same title
"The Power Of Positive Thinking", by Norman Vincent Peale.
One of the sayings he brings out in the book is:
"You can if you think you can." I took on that saying for myself and it amazed me at how it empowered me to set goals and then acheive those goals. A lot of it starts with our mindset . At that stage in my life it was to finish college and get my career rolling...to be as healthy and as balanced as possible...
Of course each stage of life has it's varying challenges. Right now in your stage it is to repair what needs to be repaired....while at the same time taking care of the daily things that being a parent and provider requires...You know, sometimes just the demands of everyday life can deplete us...So, speaking for myself, I am finding that I need to find ways to not let everyday life deplete me...and make sure I have not only time but enough reserve to do the things I love and the things that are enriching...