As a recovering alcoholic myself I will say I believe after a certain point is a choice. If I drank now it is because I want to. I made a conscience choice to throw away my recovery and get drunk again.
A mentor of mine with over 40 years in the rooms and over 30 sober said he feels AA's step one should be " admitted I was powerless over the effects of alcohol." Alcohol in and of itself is merely a substance. Only upon ingestion do some people have a problem.
Stung- you were right. It is kind of you to feel bad for your AH and his continuing problems but you absolutely do not need to be more compassionate.