I think the compassion that I feel towards him is best explained by seeing him as a human. His struggles are different than mine. Some of our struggles are similar but his alcoholism in particular is something that I'll never experience or truly understand.
But he is human. He keeps getting back up, trying again, and although he keeps falling (by choice or whatever, that's the thing that I don't actually care about anymore) I, as a fellow human, can empathize with that! Life is hard, man! It's hard for every damn person on the freaking planet. Although his struggle is different than my own I do know what it feels like to struggle and to fail. I know what it feels like to get up over and over and over again and to fall and feel like a failure. I've felt that feeling every time my youngest daughter has broken out with hives from exposure to food allergies. I feel like that on the rare occasion that I react at my AH instead of responding to him. No one, NO ONE!, is perfect. I don't expect that from him. I can treat him with grace.
I also recognize that he's an intelligent man and to pretend otherwise does everyone a disservice. If/When he finds what works for him, it'll work for him. I'm no longer emotionally invested in making sure he doesn't fall down anymore. And that's healthy for me. And our kids. And him.