Originally Posted by
atalose 
I agree that it’s a conscious decision they make to drink/drug. Relapse happens during sobriety not when they are under the influence. And after they have learned and used relapse prevention tools, meetings, steps, sponsor, counseling it clearly becomes a conscious decision on what direction they take.
What I have found about sponsors in my recovery is that I have out grown a few of them. There have been generational issues, knowledge issues, difference of opinions and a general sense it was time for me to find someone else
Exactly my line of thinking! He's been to rehab. He currently sees a therapist weekly. He was on step 7 until he drank again (maybe he's still on step 7, I don't know and it's not my business). He has a sponsor. He lives in a sober living environment. He has sober friends. He also just had a string of really positive sobriety experiences lately. I really do feel for him. I don't think anyone chooses to BE an alcoholic but once you realize that you are one and that alcohol really cannot be a part of a healthy/enjoyable life for you, you have to figure out a new way to live. Clearly, he's still struggling with figuring out that balance for himself and that must suck. Regardless, not my circus! Not my business until he decides to share with me, if he decides that.
I have continually had issues with this sponsor but this was kind of the final nail in the coffin. I was ready to talk about how Step 7 has transformed the way that I pray and how and what I ask for. It's also encouraged me to reach out to my friends more frequently (humility is asking for help when I need it, and asking kindly). And she wanted me to go back to step 1 because I don't understand JUST how powerless alcoholics are over alcohol. I asked her point blank "so an alcoholic is powerless over buying alcohol? Over driving themselves TO a liquor store to BUY something? Not just powerless over the effect it has on them when it's consumed?" She said I don't understand because I am VERY strong willed. I already know that I don't understand, but I don't know how I could possibly be MORE compassionate about it. I also have very firm and effective boundaries. I am as detached as I could possibly be. I was sharing what had happened since the last time I saw her. I thought it was relevant considering that he's my qualifier.