I agree that it’s a conscious decision they make to drink/drug. Relapse happens during sobriety not when they are under the influence. And after they have learned and used relapse prevention tools, meetings, steps, sponsor, counseling it clearly becomes a conscious decision on what direction they take.
What I have found about sponsors in my recovery is that I have out grown a few of them. There have been generational issues, knowledge issues, difference of opinions and a general sense it was time for me to find someone else