But the point in all this is, Where does this madness and insanity end for me? When can I let go? I love him and beleive in him, but weve been through sooo much, I know I need help, I want all of the worry to end, I wish I could just feel content with my life and being a good mother to my daughter, I want this so bad, I have a very good job, hes had probobaly 10 different jobs over the years, while I have stayed with this one and worked my way up, I think if people really knew the things I've gone through they would question my sanity, why do I love this person so much??? And can this sick addiction to him that i have, does it ever end? And if it does, I wish I knew the steps to get there. I also wish I could stop feeling guilty, like I should feel guilty about not letting him use my car, or that I feel guilty I pushed him away.
I know I have thrown alot out here, but I hope you all if you have the time will post some reply's, It is the most comforting feeling to know someone else has been where I have, and has seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you all very much.