Oh emme, I know how you feel. Ive failed, done ok, failed again, so very often. Its damn hard, but we have to keep trying. Nobody is sick of you, but I know you feel that way, because I feel the same.
Everybody here is trying, some are making it faster then others, but the facts you are still here and wanting sobriety is a very good sign. Keep reaching out, here, or wherever you feel most comfortable seeking help. Its such a blessing we are not alone in this, and we all understand. Dont ever give up.