Nothing about what you are feeling is wrong down to be physically disgusted by your partner.
See thing is even in normie relationships sans addiction what your husband has done in regard to his behavior is all too common - waiting until there is too much water under the bridge to change. Feelings in relationships are often destroyed by this. I have known many a long term relationship go South due to a spouse that ignores the other because they work too much, become obsessed over a new hobby, focus only on the kids etc. A relationship is a garden, the garden dies if it is not watered. What results is that when the ignored spouse wants out the other spouse suddenly "gets it" and it willing to make a change. Often its too late.....it might have been years, and by that time the ignored spouse is so checked out of the marriage there is no resurrecting it.
Passions in long term relationships in my experience of cyclical. Underlying the "low" periods isn't that the relationship is in trouble if its a healthy one. Certainly there are marriages where sex and intimacy is not a priority or may even be non-existent. If both partners are happy with this fine, it doesn't sound like this is your situation. It sounds like physical intimacy is something you do not want, but your husband does. This is a problem. Its a bigger problem that you are disgusted by him intimately. That's perfectly fine to feel that way.
I think you may need to change the way you look at this. You haven't given up. In fact you have stayed for years clearly trying to get past all this, and put it back together. Its not working. Deciding to leave the marriage is not "giving up" or "being mean". Its acceptance that the relationship cannot survive the actions that have happened within. I don't believe you are positive yet that you can't change and feel different. Only time can answer that question for you and it will be answered the longer you live away from him.
You do not have to decide any of this now - give your mind a break. Enjoy your life as is away from him, and continue the separation. Do not feel that you have to figure out what you are going to do today, tomorrow, or next month. Don't let him press you to make a decision either you give yourself the space you need FOR YOU - cause this isn't about him.