Like a magnet...
A while ago I was clean %100 for about 2 weeks! Felt great. The big mistake of telling myself one or two won't hurt to make the time go by. Well, once again I'm starting the clean wagon. 3 days so far. Worst is over I think since I wasn't so deep as last time. I can contribute all this to being alone. I moved away from family, bought my own house and live it alone. I'm in my early 30's with my own 3 bedroom house which I live in it alone. I always wondered why some of my friends wouldn't move out of their mom/dad's house until they had a room mate or some one to live with. I don't know any guys that live in a whole house alone my age. The loneliness gets to me. Night time comes, just me and the tv. Nothing on tv I go stir crazy. Take a few pills, I'm content and happy. Evil foockers. So, I could take drastic moves to live back with family, sell my house. Hell, I don't know. Throwing down those pills was what I looked forward to doing at night...to take away those lonely feelings. It's a dangerous situation I guess. So easy to just take them. This sucks.